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Tired of nonsensical dating tips? These five dating tips are current, timely and have a hand and feet!

As a single today, you are confronted with dating tips and well-intentioned advice on how to find a successful partner on every corner. But no matter how often you listened to your forgiven friends and heeded their self-tried rules for the first date - so far love has not really worked.

But no need to worry, all the couples are probably just out of the dating game for too long. Because that has changed rapidly in recent years and those who do not stay on the ball can fall on their face with their behavior on the first date. So forget all the hype about most of the old social camels: The following dating tips are based on current studies and contain everything you really need to know!

# 1 of (contemporary) dating tips: There's no point in hiding

Whether you have thin hair, broad hips or have been around for quite a few years: Whatever you perceive to be a shortcoming in yourself - don't try to hide it from your new acquaintance for as long as possible, but stand by everything you do are even. An age-old profile picture on the singles platform has a short-term effect as well as cheating with personal information, because your appearance and behavior on the first date will be the spook anyway.

Dating tips # 2: Articulate disinterest in a friendly way

The latest findings confirm what most seekers have long known: whether the acquaintance has potential is already decided in the first fifteen minutes. If it hasn't worked by then, the majority still bring the date to an end, but then keep it with sincerity. According to the modern rules for the first date, it is better to give the other person an honest "Unfortunately nothing will come of us" message instead of his number if you are not interested.

# 3 of the dating tips: Give up the helm sometimes

For many years it was a sign of male decency to take the first approximate steps and to take the bill as a matter of course. To this day, some women enjoy these traditions and like to be invited to wine and kisses. Now, however, more than forty percent of women are all in favor of equality. In terms of behavior on the first date, this means in concrete terms to act better at eye level and to take turns when it comes to leadership.

Other things men should give up in relationship to make them work well.

# 4 of the dating tips: Don't go all out right away

If you discuss the best dating tips with friends, you inevitably get stuck with one crucial question: How far should you go when you meet, if everything fits? Current studies show that only one in five single is actually ready to hop into bed together on the first evening. So you'd better wait a little longer - at least until the second meeting, even if you have enermousley strong love magnetism.

# 5 of the dating tips: Report afterwards - the right way

A classic among the decrepit tips for the first date: Don't report too quickly or excessively afterwards, otherwise you will become uninteresting. But honesty lasts the longest and whoever says directly that he liked it instead of waiting three days saves valuable life. By the way, singles prefer to conduct their after-date communication over the phone and, surprisingly, not via WhatsApp, Messenger and Co. With a friend request on Facebook, according to the current rules for the first date, you should rather wait until the matter is more serious.

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A relationship with the woman of your dreams: What sounds like a six in the lottery is one too. Only that you have to give a little something in exchange

I'll tell you how it is. Even if the glossy magazines and motivational guides want to make you believe something else: You just can't have everything in life. At least not all at once. Because everything has its time, including our different phases of life and the associated behavior. At the moment, as a reader of this article, you may be stuck in the one in which you are more or less actively looking, occasionally dating women, but in the end are not so sure about it, and have now just met the one who may could really be. You enjoy your free time, exercise your freedoms and are not accountable to anyone. Great! But such a dream woman needs space in your life. Therefore, there are a few things you should definitely pay attention to as soon as things get really serious on the front lines. Everything has its time - and these six things should give way in favor of the next happy phase of life:

1. The self-centeredness

Don't worry, you will most likely remain a person with a will of your own and two legs to walk where you want to for the rest of your life. However, right now you are deciding to live for two and that means: You have to learn to think in a we-form, to show consideration and to take responsibility for your actions. The self-sufficient bachelor life may be over, but of course complete self-surrender does not mean a partnership. Rather, you are now slipping into a role in which you can reinvent yourself.

2. The lack of plan

Live into the day and see what's going on tomorrow? You can of course also work together wonderfully at the beginning of a relationship, but after a while a rough direction of travel is desirable. Here and now love is great, but if you are looking for long-term happiness you should have some perspective in mind. Who are you and where do you want to go - in life, in love and in general? Only when you have a plan for yourself can you plan a future for your future wife. With the right mix of individual and common goals.

3. The righteousness

Surprise, you're not the only one with an opinion in a relationship. You used to be the ruler of the fridge, Saturday night planning and the Netflix account, but now the scepter is suddenly split and differences of opinion lurk around every corner. The magic word is logically: willingness to compromise. You probably won't get very far without them. If you want a woman with her own opinion, say goodbye to your stubborn head.

4. The bad habits

Take a deep breath, nobody has to mutate into Mr. Perfect to make an impression. But there is guaranteed to be a quality or behavior in you that has actually been annoying you for a while. Maybe you are an inattentive listener, somehow spend a little too much time in front of the paddle console, often squander your salary in the pub or just can't get away from fast food. With a little luck, your queen of hearts will love you despite these semi-attractive habits. Nevertheless, now would be the best time to finally take it off.

5. The laziness

What you can get today, you'd better get it today - at least if you want to win a woman for yourself. There is hardly any other masculine quality that makes women as fuzzy as innate comfort. And what applies to household chores or exercise also applies to the relationship itself: love is not only an affection, it also means work, dear men. If you just lazily rest on your great catch after a successful hunt, you may soon be rid of it.

6. Perfectionism

Of course, it's nice to always look at love through rose-colored glasses. But in addition to all the great aspects, it can also be exhausting, demand strength, patience and nerves at times and not always look like the perfectly staged couple selfie from the picture book. That doesn't mean you have to or can endure anything. It's just that you have to realize that no person and no relationship is flawless. This thought can be very liberating.

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To be accepted by the partner, with all strengths and weaknesses - who doesn't want that! Acceptance is the basis of a happy partnership. But what exactly is meant by “acceptance”?

I think a relationship is only really happy when both partners accept each other without any ifs or buts. Okay, that sounds pretty demanding. But I just cannot imagine that a relationship will work if there is a constant “but” in the room. Acceptance is the foundation of a successful relationship. We want to be accepted and loved in a relationship for who we are, with all strengths and weaknesses, light and dark sides. As ideally as when our parents were children.

What acceptance (not) means

In order to clear up a possible misunderstanding in advance: Acceptance must not be confused with tolerance, i.e. - in the literal sense - enduring and enduring. Acceptance, as I understand it in the context of a relationship, is not directed to the outside, but to the inside of a person, to his inner world.

If I accept my partner, it does not mean that I am also ready to endure or even approve of any behavior on their part. That I always make a good face to the bad game. Rather, it means that I am willing to look curiously and courageously at how he is doing, "look at" his feelings, his wishes, desires, needs, thoughts, fantasies and whatever else there is to discover in him. And that I, as it were, allow this inner life to be there, not "make it away", deny it, suppress it or devalue it. Everything inside can just be there for the time being and is accepted by me as it is at the moment, open and value-free. That can be the inner world of the partner, but of course also my own.

If I do not have this willingness, I signal to my partner: Your feeling (need, desire, etc.) must not be. I try to control it, manipulate it or even eliminate it. But what is being fought defends itself and can quickly grow larger. For example, if I'm scared, just thinking about my fear and desperately trying to "get rid of" it, it gets even bigger.

Accepting the partner means opening up to the partner's inner world, viewing it without judgment and letting it be as it is. One could also speak of esteem or respect. However, acceptance does NOT explicitly mean to approve of all behavior that results from feelings and thoughts. Just because you're angry, for example, doesn't mean you have to yell, insult, or even become violent. And such behavior should never be accepted or tolerated!

Learn our Modern Dating Tips.

Train acceptance

Acceptance can be trained. Here are a few things to think about:

  • Have the courage not only to listen to yourself, but also to curiously explore the inside of your partner, for example by asking him / her about his / her wishes and needs and current state of mind.
  • We all have a certain tendency to want to control situations and people in order to gain security. If that sounds familiar to you, don't you keep asking yourself whether your control strategies are even working? If not, it may be time to change your strategy and adopt an accepting stance as described above. Not everything in life can and should not be controlled. We often fight against windmills and don't have to.
  • Be aware of what is in your power (control) and what is not. Can you change your partner's feelings and thoughts? Or is the only healthy option to accept them and to meet them constructively and creatively?
  • Consciously say yes to the inside of your partner and your own over and over again. All feelings, thoughts, fantasies, impulses, needs and so on are allowed. The decisive factor is not whether they are there or not, but how we deal with them responsibly and in accordance with our life goals and values.
  • Acceptance is not a feeling or a thought, but an action!
Kommentare

Our anonymous or reader does not believe in dual souls and kinship, but she is convinced that love can be like magnetism: an attraction that she cannot escape.

I've never had this experience in my entire life. One day a man stepped into my life - quite casually. And an explosion of emotions hit me. It was clear to me from the first moment that this person is my opposite pole. The man who attracts me like a magnet and without whom I cannot exist from now on. Our attraction is, how can it be otherwise, mutual.

Every time we see each other, magnetism kicks in. We look at each other, and an irrepressible, irrepressible desire takes up all space. My heart fails, each of my senses is sharpened to the limit, I have hardly any control over my body. Tunnel vision sets in and I cannot take my focus away from it.

We attract each other like magnets

It, my magnet, reacts in a mirrored manner, it comes close and closer to me, and we cannot help but fall upon one another at once until the first wave subsides and we can give space again to words and thoughts. We can't leave any space between us in anything, no sheet of paper fits between us.

When we socialize, no matter where, and don't want to let anything show, many still notice how tight the bond is around us. We would not be surprised to see a real bond that binds us together. It is impossible to pretend that we are just good friends or colleagues. People feel it. There is a force of attraction between us that nothing and no one can stop.

I can already feel it, although I don't see it yet

There is certainly more between heaven and earth than we know and will ever know. Nevertheless, I think - at least for myself - that I cannot clairvoyant or even have supernatural abilities. However, I cannot explain this phenomenon to myself: When I smell my friend from afar, I don't know where the knowledge of his close presence comes from. I haven't seen it with my eyes yet, but I know it's not far - then I look and then I find it. Before we (coincidentally) meet, he can feel the gaze on his back and turns to me knowing that. We even attract each other over long distances - or to put it another way - we feel ourselves.

The parting then hurts not only in the heart, but also physically. If I sometimes don't see him for weeks, and can only talk to him from a distance, every memory, every picture, smell or scraps of music hurts. I can't avoid them. I don't even want it. The pain comes from my incompleteness; I don't feel physically complete when he's not with me, even though my mind knows I'll see him again. My head needs the nourishment it gives me in our conversations.

Is love like magnetism?

I have chosen against believing in dual souls or soulmates and other concepts. The image of the north and south poles serves as an explanation of our magnetism.

When I once asked him what it was between us, why we cannot do without each other, why we have been physically reacting so violently to one another and this for so long, why every second hurts without the other, but why we still don't talk about addiction he replied with three words: "It's love."

Kommentare

Nobody wants to be the third wheel on their car - they would much rather be in a relationship. Do not you think? We have put together ten good reasons why a partnership is just great

Whoever imagined his future as a child will often have dreamed of a partner, offspring and a house with a garden. How much of this is realistic remains to be seen - but this longing for the great love of life comes from somewhere. Today there are umpteen life models - and yet for many of us a partnership is the ultimate. And that's okay too. Because there are good reasons that speak for a classic two-way relationship and also for polyamory.

1. The supporting hand

There are the beautiful sides of life, but also the difficult phases. In a relationship you have a soul partner by your side who will help you even in hard times in life and who can put a smile on your face despite all the painful feelings. Life is easier with two people - in good moments anyway, but especially in bad ones.

2. Take and give love

Of course, self-love is important. But the feeling of being loved - despite all weaknesses and without having to pretend - is irreplaceable. In addition, love is not a one-way street, because you give it back to your partner. This also increases your own satisfaction. You are loved, needed and can open your heart.

3. Time for two - always

Sometimes me-time is great and of course a wine evening with your best friends is a lot of fun. But everyone will know: it is not so easy to coordinate with loved ones. With the partner, quality time is much easier to achieve with two people. Whether falling asleep together, trying out new hobbies or simply spending a Sunday evening on the couch with pizza and Netflix - we like to share things like that.

4. A life of intimacy

In a partnership, intimacy is fundamental and over time you grow closer and closer to each other. No more alcohol-intoxicated one-night stands, the dating app can disappear and cheesy dates are a thing of the past. In addition, nobody tries to couple you with the "great guy from work". In a partnership, you can experience a kind of intimacy with your partner that you would otherwise hardly experience.

5. Personal growth

In a relationship we get to know new sides of ourselves - and grow beyond ourselves. Because we share a life. You suddenly compromise. You learn that many little things in everyday life are not worth the excitement. With each of these experiences you look at your life with more serenity.

6. Healthier life

Research shows that people in long relationships live healthier and consequently longer. Together you can set goals for yourself as a couple, such as a daily workout or a healthier meal plan. In this case, trust is good, but control (by the other person) is better or at least more effective - you can get through such changes in pairs. Let's ignore the extra pounds from the evening series.

7. Confidence and motivation

But it's not just the fitness program that is easier to pull off with a partner. Overall, in a relationship you have someone by your side who motivates you. Whether in terms of career, social contacts or personal development - your motivational coach is at home and enhances your self-confidence when you need it.

8. Trust and security

Plus, your partner is also the person you can share all of your most intimate feelings and thoughts with. You feel secure and understood when you talk to your significant other and you can unload everything with him or her. There are some things you don't want to talk about with your best friend or your parents - but you can pour your soul out to your partner.

9. Share tasks

For most, everyday tasks tend to be exhausting and annoying. All the better when there are two of you! Annoying purchases, house cleaning or cooking are more fun together anyway and if the going gets tough, you can give something away and maybe take on more for the week afterwards. Or not ... if you ask nicely.

10. Common future

Working towards goals together means not only implementing the daily workout plan, but also imagining future plans. Nothing is better than indulging in dreams with your partner about what life will be like in five, ten or even twenty years.

Take your luck in hand

As you can see, there are enough good reasons to be in a relationship. Of course, that doesn't mean that singles are unhappy because of it. Because what fulfills you the most is in your hand. And if, despite your longing, you still have no one by your side: Don't be desperate when looking for a partner, there are many great men and women out there who want to be conquered!

Read our dating tips to find a love partner quickly.

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